Why is a birthday a sad holiday (and what to do about it)
Birthdays should and even have to be happy . But why then do many people experience a feeling of confusion, sadness and fear every time their birthday approaches? It turns out that the reason may be depression, associated with this once special and invariably positive, and now increasingly a disappointing day.
If you think that you are the only person in the world who on his birthday would like to turn off the phone and lock himself in the apartment alone with only the close ones (or better and in general with himself), then it’s just for you, believe me. Because even your best friend, who has celebrated his birthday with Napoleon’s scope for 20 years, perhaps does it through strength. And before starting to send out invitations, for about five years in a row he asks himself the same question: “Do I need it?”
Sadness in birthday: why it happens
Analyzing the data on the topic, psychologists found several reasons that are likely to cause the melancholy that accompanies us a few days before and after the birthday.
The first reason is aging. Most people at certain times in their lives would prefer to turn the clock back to stay young longer or even forever. It seems that the years begin to pass faster. Wrinkles appear, bodies change, people feel responsible for many things. The achievement of jubilee milestones – 30, 40, 50 years – can make all this more obvious. Thus, a birthday can make you feel that time is moving at a frightening pace, and you do not have time to do anything.
The second reason is the goal. Birthdays are the time when it’s common to sum up. But if everything is done for the New Year, and the results are mainly related to the past year, in the case of a birthday it is always something more ambitious. And if a person feels that he is not where he hoped he will be at this age, it can upset him. Disappointment and a sense of worthlessness can also overtake you if people who were near on the last birthday are no more. And this becomes another reminder of the transience and imperfection of life .
The third reason is waiting. If you expect too much from your birthday, chances are that you will face disappointment. For example, if you think that you will receive a specific gift, but do not receive it. Or if you are sure that your friends have prepared something grandiose for you (your favorite band is just a concert in your hometown), and this is just a holiday cake, albeit very beautiful. Or if you expect a person to surprise you and come for a birthday, but this, again, does not happen. Whatever it was, if you are waiting for something, there is a great risk of experiencing depressive moods about the fact that everything went wrong, as you would like.
Symptoms of depression on the day of birth
Are you just sad or is it something more serious? The question, we can not but agree, is complex. As reported by Medical News Today, there are a number of symptoms that will help diagnose a second option:
- Fatigue and lack of enthusiasm for the approach of a birthday;
- Sadness, the cause of which remains unknown (as, by the way, and a way to get rid of it);
- Difficulties with concentration and the inability to stop thinking about a birthday;
- A keen desire to avoid contact with people, including family and friends;
- Problems with falling asleep and quality of sleep, loss of appetite, physical discomfort and pain;
- In severe cases, thoughts of suicide, which become more obsessive, the closer the day of birth.
Experts say that if it is not about chronic depression, then help to cope with the problem is capable of one of this: choosing the ideal place to celebrate (one that you will definitely like) or, on the contrary, a complete lack of plans (let everything go as is), preserving jobs during the day (it does not allow to fall into despair), and a positive attitude (if it is not, turn on your favorite comedy), drawing up objectives list the following year (believe me, it can be very inspiring) or an extraordinary experience (what about the jump from the parachute ohm?) Choose what you like – and go ahead.
And, of course, do not forget that although birthday can really make you sad, there are no real reasons why you should feel sadness on this beautiful day. Try to get rid of negative emotions and plan a birthday the way you (you, not your friends, relatives or anyone else) want. And then, you’ll see, you again will wait for this holiday with impatience, just like in childhood.