Why do we always want to “lose some weight” before the wedding (even if it is not ours)

Why do we always want to "lose some weight" before the wedding (even if it is not ours)

Whether you are planning a wedding, an anniversary or a visit to a celebration on a significant occasion, this usually requires serious planning. And it’s not even about traditional preparations like the selection of a restaurant and a dress or – if you do not arrange an event, and invited to it – buying gifts, but getting rid of excess kilograms. Or, at least, about plans for deliverance.

But why do we always think that before the holiday, which is held with the participation of a large number of people, we must necessarily lose weight (even if at other times such thoughts do not arise)? It turns out that there is a completely scientific explanation for this.

Why we want to lose weight

A 2008 study at Cornell University found that the majority of women (70%) who are in serious relationships believe that there is some “perfect wedding weight” that is on average 8-10 kilograms less than their current weight. The figures, you will agree, are impressive.

Psychologist Kelley Kitley (Kelley Kitley) tells Refinery29 that the idea of ??losing weight for a wedding has become so ubiquitous because people, and it’s not surprising, want to look as perfect as possible in one of the main days of their lives. And the fact that most of them equate weight loss to an ideal appearance, only reinforces the desire.

And although the trend itself is not new, experts admit that modern women (and men, but still fewer of them) can feel more pressure than previous generations. A study published in the Psychological Bulletin in early 2018 showed that today people are more prone to perfectionism, for which in part it is worth saying thanks to social media. Thanks to Instagram, comparing yourself with someone is easier than ever. And if you take into account that in the world there is always someone better, brighter, more beautiful and, in the end, worse than us, the comparison is often not in favor of comparing.

Katharine Phillips, a psychiatrist from New York, notes that people, even if they do not want to change their body, may feel obligated to do something like that according to social attitudes.

“Some of us are excessively addicted to the idea that we need to look in a certain way, whereas in reality there are an infinite number of types and sizes of the body,” says Phillips, R29. – Constant pressure of the media can feed on the type of mental error, called a “statement of necessity.” This means that we think that we should look in a certain way or have a certain weight, even if this is unrealistic, wrong or not so necessary for us. “

It does not help that on large-scale events, such as a wedding or an anniversary, they make a lot of photos that guests are likely to post on their social networks, exposing the ideal (or not so) figure of the main character for everyone to see. Plus, the need to pose in front of the camera can open the “box of uncertainty” of Pandora, especially if there are already some problems with body image or eating behavior.

“Almost all of us perceive photographs as a memory of those minutes when we were really happy, which, in turn, makes us believe that looking at them needs a little more than irreproachable,” Kelly Keetley said. And she admits that she has repeatedly heard from friends and acquaintances phrases in the spirit: “I will look at these photos all my life, so I need to look better.”

And why this is not necessarily

But that’s the truth: weight loss is not a prerequisite for a wedding, anniversary, corporate or whatever else. And, of course, losing weight is not a prerequisite for looking good. Much more important, remind psychologists, be healthy and enjoy what happens, regardless of the current weight.

If you feel that the desire to lose weight before the celebration is not your own desire, then psychologists advise you to remind yourself why you are arranging it or go for it. After all, however, most people will gather at the same time in the same place just to have a good time in the company of those who care about them. But definitely not to consider the figure, clothes or hairstyles of others.

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