On a date with a daffodil how to understand that you were trapped
If your partner is a narcissist or a person with psychopathic personality traits , this can be quite exhausting. For example, day in and day out, even being in a relationship, you can feel lonely, but do not understand why. Or, perhaps, you constantly think that you always say something wrong or you do something wrong. Or you do not quite understand that once again you are upset by the person with whom you are together, but you know for sure that he is upset because of you.
Is there a chance for a normal relationship with the daffodil? Alas, there is no such chance. So the earlier you understand who is before you, the sooner you will be able to free yourself from this unhealthy interaction. Donna Andersen, a journalist and author of the popular site LoveFraud.com, dedicated to toxic relationships, told IFL Science about what points worth paying attention to, if you feel that your relationship is difficult to call normal
. And we will summarize for you the most important information on the topic.
The first date with a daffodil is always a love bombardment . As, indeed, the second, and the third, and the fourth … He probably always told how different you are from the people he had met before, and he complimented you all the time. Sounds good, right? But psychologists warn: this way the narcissus tries to catch the fish on the hook. Making you feel that you are the most important person in the world, they put you on a “needle”, it will be difficult to get down from, because this, what to hide, is quite pleasant.
If you feel that the relationship is developing too quickly, most likely, you are confronted with the most amorous bombardment. Simplifying: if someone talks about eternal love after a couple of dates, hurry to retire or at least retreat to a safe distance.
“Predator on the Hunt”
Before the narcissus picked you up, he was probably already looking for a new goal. It looks like a predator in search of prey, who knows for sure that he needs someone weak, who can be used to his advantage. Usually daffodils study their “sacrifice” so that the one does not have a chance of salvation. According to Psych Central, most often they pay attention to insecure people with low or very low self-esteem.
It is interesting here that with the same passion with which they rush to the romantic embrasure, narcissuses usually refer to their family and friends. And this means that you will surely see something positive in it, before the focus of the narcissus focuses exclusively on you.
As Dr. Stephanie Sarkis writes in his blog for Psychology Today, the searchlight is a tactic of manipulators that enjoy when they have power over someone else. Sarkis says that this happens gradually, so the victim can be difficult to determine what is happening. Until it’s too late.
Everything can begin with an insignificant lie, denying the things they said or did, substituting reality, which becomes possible because narcissuses lie and leave the answers so categorically that you begin to doubt whether you are correct in your judgments. Yes, even in the event that you know for sure that your judgments are correct. From time to time daffodils can reward you with complimentsand praise, so that you again and again doubted – at that time in their attitude.
Jekyll and Hyde
Can not understand why the partner is charming and gentle, then angry and always unhappy ? This is a typical narcissistic tactic that allows them to hold your attention. Psychologists say that daffodils can be cute and loving when they have an audience (that is, surrounded by people), but become real monsters when you are alone.
Sometimes, experts add, the contrast is so striking that during the “thaw” you begin to blame yourself for being too harsh. Nevertheless, it is important to remember that this is just a mask of Jekyll, which sooner or later will turn into Hyde. And, what is most sad, it is Hyde in this case is a reflection of reality.
“A vacuum cleaner”
If you are lucky and the daffodil has abandoned you, or, alternatively, you somehow managed to throw it, be prepared for him to return. And will do it sooner than you think. It is important to remain vigilant – to limit his access to his social networks and to try to avoid common companies. The problem is that daffodils do not know how to accept refusals. And only if everything that you reward them is silence, they begin to understand that they no longer control the situation.
Narcissus will surely try to get you back using the vacuum cleaner technique: he will say how he treats you beautifully, to convince himself that he has understood his mistake, and to assure that he will never meet anyone like that again. Your main task in this situation is not to believe a single word. Because if you agree to reunion, in the end everything will get worse. “It’s like the sequels of films that are rarely worthy,” concludes Donna Andersen.