Victim of love in life
Do you think you have met the love of your life? Stop. If you just met a man who says that you are kindred spirits and screams about your feelings for the whole world in a week of dating, then, quite possibly, you were the victim of “love bombing”.
According to Dale Archer, psychiatrist and author of the term, “love bombing” includes showering with compliments, gifts and promises of a happy and cloudless life together that can make you believe in love at first sight, even if you have always been are quite reasonable.
A loving, caring and incredibly devoted person to you – it would seem, what else can you dream about? But this, as you know, is not all that is prepared for you. As soon as you show a hint of caring for someone else, the partner will immediately become enraged and stick a label on you “egoist”. In the blog for Psychology Today, Archer describes “love bomardization” as a way of manipulation and form of ill-treatment. According to the expert, most often it is encountered by those who meet or live with a person suffering from narcissism, Machiavellianism (a cult of brute force when achieving goals) or psychopathy .
Thus, “love bombing” is a relationship in which the executioner deprives the victim of his all-embracing love, if the victim acts as he wants, and not how he needs it. Then comes the stage of devaluation, where kindness is replaced by anger, and encouragement – by punishment in any suitable way.
The difficulty here is that you can see the “love bombing” only in the long term since all the relationships in the first stage are very bright, so emotional maxima here are perfectly normal and should not cause alarm. However, if in a short time your relations with the “new” suddenly become “serious”, and the partner requires all your attention, this should cause fear. Especially if he constantly reminds you that you are made for each other.
There are several reasons why you can fall under the “love bombardment”. Psychiatrist Joe Pierre (Joe Pierre) tells Business Insider that the vast majority of people are entering into a toxic relationship because of problems that they have not been able to cope on their own. The risk group includes those who have been traumatized by past relationships and now subconsciously looking for a person with whom to correct the mistakes of the past.
When the “love bombing” turns its dark side, it can be very traumatic for the victim. Everything that the victim does from this point on – is trying to bring back the sensitive, patient and in all senses a wonderful person whom she once met. It is important to understand here that in reality such a person never existed – it was just a mask.
“At first they incredibly love you and then throw them to the very bottom. Therefore, you do not want to do something “wrong” so as not to turn up again and again. Well, then your standards go down, your borders closed with a loud click and you lose consciousness, “explains psychotherapist Perpetua Neo.
Dale Archer adds that the best thing you can do in such a situation is to slow down the course of events and remind yourself of the right to fulfill one’s own desires. And if you are somehow pressed – to defend yourself.