False Loyalty in Emotionally Abusive Relationships – three Motives Loyalty is Misplaced


Many individuals feel compelled to remain in relationships that are destructive or toxic for them. Perhaps getting low self esteem to start with, the destructive actions of the partner can serve to drive down feelings of self worth even additional. Often, the victimized companion feels a sense of loyalty to the companion who may possibly be emotionally or otherwise abusing him or her. While loyalty in healthier relationships can be a very optimistic and securing trait, when it is applied in the context of an emotionally abusive and destructive partnership, it becomes misplaced. Here are 3 motives loyalty is mistakenly provided in these kinds of relationships:

1.  The victim confuses worry with loyalty.  In healthier relationships, loyalty arises from empathy, honor, and a wish to protect the other person’s safety and feelings in the partnership. If the victim is behaving in certain ways out of worry of retribution, this is not really loyalty, but much more along the lines of worry and intimidation.

two. The notion of loyalty is usually set by the abuser. This implies that unreasonable requests or demands could be produced all in the name of “loyalty.” For instance, an emotionally abusive partner may possibly demand that a companion remain away from friends and family to prove devotion and commitment to him or her. In a healthful partnership, this would probably be observed as unreasonable, but the emotional abuser can frame loyalty in whatever terms he or she wishes in order to maintain control more than the victim.

3. The victim is wracked with guilt and could view that emotion and compulsion as loyal. The abuser may possibly blame the victim for causing him or her to be abusive, and point out how the violation of the abuser’s parameters shows disloyalty. Once once more, the purpose for the victim is not to honor his or her partner’s feelings out of true loyalty, but as a way to stay away from further confrontation and feasible abuse.